All We Have is Today
The past is gone, the future unknown
Hi Everyone. Thank you for visiting My Photo Journal.
The blinkers are off. With the passing of my wife, I can no longer see the road stretched out forever. My life is no more or less fragile than it has ever been, but now I can see more clearly that I must make each and every day count. As Gord Downie wrote so eloquently, “No dress rehearsal, this is our life.”
“Time is like a river made up of the events which happen, and a violent stream; for as soon as a thing has been seen, it is carried away, and another comes in its place, and this will be carried away too.”
―Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
Some moments captured from the river of time in October
According to astronomers, comet C/2023 A3 (Tsuchinshan–ATLAS) takes 80,000 years to orbit the sun. That’s a long time when considered on a human scale. Will mankind even be here to bear witness to the next rotation? 2023 A3 is the brightest comet to pass our way since Hale-Bopp in 1997, the comet being visible in the western skies just after sunset as seen in the photo below.
The Comet
It can be hard to imagine things which take place on an astronomical time scale like this. And yet 80,000 years is but a drop in the bucket in the river of time. Imagine the past that already precedes our present day and the future which stretches out in front of today to infinity.
By contrast, human life is short, a blink of a cosmic eye. Rather than be overwhelmed by this, we must make the most of each day we are given, as today is all we have.
And yet, through the magic of photography, we are able to capture brief moments in time. These moments serve as time capsules of sorts. Here then are some images, moments, grabbed from my river of time over the past month.
Without any doubt, this has been a difficult month for me. As I reported on October 16th in The Tempest, October began with a rising storm, the likes I’ve never experienced before and ended with the departure of my wife from this life. Our sudden and unexpected separation after all these many years together is both shocking and painful, and yet the river of time continues to flow.
Aurora Panorama
I ended the aforementioned post with a remarkable display of Northern Lights that dominated the skies during that dark week of my existence. Here is yet another version of this remarkable celestial event, a stitched panorama covering at least 180 degrees from west to east. The sheer size of the display was beyond astounding.
While I have seen the Northern Lights here before, most notably in November of 2004 and then again most recently during a remarkable display on May 10th of this year, nothing could have prepared me for the October 10th event. I wonder if I will ever witness such a thing again?
Farewell to Feathered Friends
October marks the end of season for our resident Eastern Phoebes. They are rarely seen late into the month and have now left for the winter. I spotted this one in the light of an early morning sun, taking advantage of a temporary post to hunt cluster flies from along the south side of our home as it readied itself for the long flight. I hope to see you next year little bird. Bon Voyage!
The Step Doctor
Before Ruth got ill, I had arranged with The Step Doctor, contractor Tim White from Havelock, to have concrete work done around the house. Although they arrived at the cusp of the crisis, they kept a low profile and I can’t say enough about the sensitivity they showed and their professionalism as we all made the best of a difficult situation.
This truck mixes cement as needed right on the job site. Perfect for small jobs like this. When we bought the place in 1986, we noticed someone had dumped a bunch of concrete out the back door. This rash decision became known to us as the beast.
I built a number of wooden decks over the years, carefully working around the beast, but was never entirely happy with the results. Decks are a pain even without concrete blobs for foundations. Recently, we decided that rather than try to remove the beast, we would add to it and this is the culmination of that decision. A concrete south facing porch with a sidewalk leading to the east side of the house. This structure adds support to the foundation wall, covers the beast and ends once and for all, the ongoing saga of rotting wooden decks.
While they were at it, I had them make the house wheelchair accessible, a gesture which came just a bit too late for Ruth. The day this all happened, I sat inside with her and repeated to myself, it doesn’t matter. it doesn’t matter. Because it didn’t. What doesn’t matter continued to be an overarching theme of my thought process for the remainder of the month.
There were other jobs performed by Step Doctor Tim White, not the least of which was capping our old well with a yard compass. I placed this flower arrangement on top of it for this photograph much to the amusement of Duncan (in back) and Katie, the newest member of our family.
Thanksgiving
It’s hard to drive past the Warkworth Mill Pond without stopping when the colours are approaching peak. It’s a subject I and many others return to year after year. You can see why. I made a mental note to return in a few days when the colours would likely reach their zenith.
Getting out and about, away from the house, has been important for my mental health this month. I’ve been trying to say yes to more things, rather than my default, no thanks. In keeping with this new attitude, I accepted an invitation to go visit my cousin Julie and her family for Thanksgiving. I don’t think I can express how much this visit meant to me. Thank you to Julie, Robert and family for opening your hearts and home to me in my time of greatest sorrow.
Deadnersville
After Thanksgiving Dinner we vistied Deadnersville. a haunted house near Rednersville, Ontario. Seems Lorne and Sheila Holditch let dressing up their house for Halloween get a little out of hand over the years, until it reached a point of becoming a neighbourhood sensation. The couple spent weeks preparing with a fake graveyard, strobe lights, fog machines, dozens of animatronic characters and live costumed extras on the big night.
After Sheila passed away, Lorne was so grateful for the care she had received, he decided to keep the event going and turned it into a fundraiser for the Belleville General Hospital in her memory. Last year, they raised $17,702 from volunteer donations made at the site on halloween and the weeks leading up to it. I was very happy to make a contribution to such a beautiful gesture and creative fundraiser.
The Next Morning
A ray of sunshine ahead of another dark day. Sometimes it feels like this is how most of my days are now, regardless of the weather. But maybe that’s just my warped perspective and my ever changing moods.
Return to the Warkworth Conservation Area
Returning to the Warkworth Mill Pond the following Thursday, I was in a reflective mood after attending the morning grief group at our local hospice. It was another abnormal summerlike day and the colours were now at their absolute peak.
I stopped down my wide angle lens to F16 to produce this starburst effect above.
I was sitting on the warm ground and looking around as you sometimes do with camera in hand, when I spotted this red dragonfly basking in the sun amongst the leaf litter next to the Warkworth Mill Pond. I had my 70-300 lens on at the time, and moved cautiously, closer and closer towards the dragonfly, firing off shots as I approached. This is as close as I got.
According to Everything You Need to Know about Red Dragonflies (I kid you not), the spiritual meaning of finding a red dragonfly is, “You are ready for spiritual evolution and growth.” Hopefully that’s true, but regardless, it was a pretty neat moment.
Highland Cow
On Godolphin Road not far from home, I came across this lovely highland cow. It looked amazing grazing in the late afternoon light. I stopped the car to grab a shot. The cow stopped yanking on grass and turned in my direction, just long enough to pose for a quick portrait. How magnificent!
Oak Tree Panorama
Photographing the colours and spectacle of autumn each year leads to a certain amount of repetition. As such, I strive to find new ways to interpret this annual transition from the abundance of summer to the retreat of coming winter. One way to keep it fresh is to zero in on the colours and forms while discarding much of the detail, using painterly post processing. That’s what led to this Oak Tree Panorama.
Sager Conservation Area
On October 20th, I visited Sager Conservation Area for the first time. Located east of the Trent River, this smallish conservation area features one of the highest locations in the area with commanding views from a lookout tower to the south and west overlooking Belleville, Trenton and the counties of Hastings and Northumberland.
A boulder at the northwest corner of the parking lot marks the path to the lookout and gives some indication of the short steep climb ahead.
The stairs are steep but well spaced and ready to accommodate a variety of user abilities, although no wheelchairs. Going up, I mostly used the trail on the sides. Coming down I used the steps. After the first series of steps, the trail turns sharply to the right and continues up again about twice as far before reaching a gentle incline to the top of the drumlin and the tower situated there.
The views from the tower were amazing, but what really caught my attention were the shadows of the people around the tower and the shadow of the tower itself.
Autumn on the Sixth
And here is one more parting shot of autumn here on the sixth concession of Percy Township, now, since amalgamation, the Municipality of Trent Hills.
As usual, I will leave you with a song, this one, Taanisi by Twin Flames. Cheers!
Jaaji pronounced (Yaa Yee) and Chelsey June say of the song, “Taanisi means to Dance in Inuttitut it represents the message we try to share in everything we do. Celebrate life, enjoy it, find what makes you happy, Life is too short! This video was filmed during our Nunavik tour.”
How long were you and Ruth together? It might have been a blip in time on the cosmic scale, but we humans do not live or view the world on such timelines. We view our lives in days, weeks and months. And years. We carry the memories of such times. When you lose someone, there is grief and coming to terms with it. Trying to make sense.
I remember being angry when my father died in 1980. It was unfair that he died, age 69, after such a hard and difficult life. I was looking for answers and found none that were satisfying in the usual religious or philosophical sources. They are all distant and unfeeling, like that faraway comet.
I now accept that this is life for most of us, chiefly a result of human greed and selfishness by the few. Hard and unfair, but punctuated with moments of profound beauty, mystery and love. Most found in Nature. This is what keeps me going.
Love the images of the comet and sugar maple 🍁🙌🏼thank you for sharing this